A few months ago, I saw a post on Facebook that the first five friends to randomly appear in your friend list will be on your team in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I looked, and one of my five friends was an old friend of mine, Eden.
This was a reassuring thought to me, because Eden and I had been very good friends back in the day, when we were fellow Pirates at Memorial Park Middle School in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Even more reassuring was the fact that Eden had attended Harvard Law School and passed the Florida Bar Exam, two accomplishments that make a zombie apocalypse look like amateur hour.
At the time, I had this image in my head of pulling my car into Eden's driveway in Florida. She'd answer the door holding a sawed-off shotgun, with a grenade strapped to her chest, give me a hug, and commence a detailed strategy meeting for how we were going to tackle this pesky zombie issue.
Don't judge me; this is why I am an advice columnist and not a novelist.
As it happens, Eden is tackling a different zombie right now, which you can read about here.
Eden Essex Banks, Fellow Pirate, Lead General Counsel of Zombie Apocalypse Team X, Friend:
Fight on, comrade, fight on.
Eden and I were roommates at Notre Dame. Fight on Eden!
ReplyDeleteDear Auntie -- I would be proud to be on your zombie team. Werewolves are real. Love ya, Uncle Sheldon
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