As some of you may have already heard, the Dear Aunt Slugger Headquarters will be moving from Cambridge, Massachusetts, to Melrose, Massachusetts, effective August 11, 2011. Please do not be alarmed; this move will not affect your subscription to Dear Aunt Slugger. You will continue to receive the same unpredictable posts and non-existent service that you have come to expect over the past few years.
Your Aunt Slugger has received a number of questions about the move, which I will attempt to answer here, in this Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). If you have any additional questions, please take them up with your Congressional Representative.
Q: Why is the Dear Aunt Slugger HQ moving?
A: For the same reason that anyone leaves Cambridge: one too many hipster bicyclists stuck in my wheel well.
Q: Where is Melrose?
A: This is a good question; your Aunt Slugger had never heard of Melrose until deciding to move there. Insofar as I can tell, based on the drive there to look at apartments, it is located here:
But it could be further out; I am not sure. Also, please adjust your browser settings to receive updates to this website via Morse Code and smoke signals.Q: Do you have any tips for moving or packing?
A: Yes, only pack what your cat or other domesticated mammal can carry on his or her back. Also, stop decorating your house now in case you have to move someday. It's those decorations that will haunt your dreams at night. Closets seem as though they should be the worst because you realize exactly how many sweaters you own (38) versus how many you wear (7), but clothes are easy to either throw in a box or accidentally leave in the oven at 350 degrees.
It's the knick-knacks, like the plastic vampire chicken McNugget toy that you've been hauling from apartment to apartment since you went away to college and have been carefully putting on a shelf and periodically dusting off and admiring over the years. Like, you don't want to leave that in the oven with your pit-stained L.L. Bean t-shirts, but what do you do with it? So it gets packed. Again. And again. Until you either grow some balls and throw it out or someone firebombs your house.
Q: Are you getting rid of anything that I could have?
A: Two used napkins, a Target receipt from 2009, and an expired can of chick peas. I will be posting them on Craigslist.
